back door coffin

2009-09-07T20:13:00.001+07:00

Rest In Peace

Khairel Afiq Bin Khairudin

2009-08-13T23:17:00.001+07:00

i thought i saw you in heaven
when i was there last night
they said you haven't been coming
so i walked to know you're alright
then i walked down to where
we hold our movie star lives
they said you haven't been coming
so i walked to know you're alright
and i walked to know you're alright

and if you find your way back home
i will be waiting on my own

i thought i saw you in heaven
when i was there last night
they said you haven't been coming
so i walked to know you're alright
and i walked to know you're alright
and i walked...
and i walked to know you're alright

saw you in heaven.

2009-06-05T09:59:00.001+07:00

Personality Test

come one come all to this tragic affair.

2009-06-01T10:37:00.001+07:00

i'm going crazy by the day with yelling thoughts in my head. ain't thinking as straight anymore.

tongue-tied and oh so squeamish.

2009-05-28T15:10:00.003+07:00

its been a week since we officially graduated from Temasek Polytechnic. in our hands, were the certificate, diploma in biotechnology.

it was suppose to be a day with pride and honour. but the only pride i can take myself with is the 4 months in Bangkok, SIP/MP. a distinction worth the wait.

THE honestly sincere picture taken, only.

mama we all go to hell.

2009-05-14T16:30:00.004+07:00

okay, i am actually working as a civil servant, yes to the nation, with the Ministry Of Finance under the department VITAL.org. lately there isn't much to do, so i stroll my time away by surfing the limited access internet.

when boredom begins to loom, it brought me down to this, the thought of thailand. i guess i will never let that 4 precious months of my life go. ever.

bangkok, thailand.

as i re captivate the moments in thailand, some jokes were sieved. joke with loud waves of laughter, joke with high intensity of sarcasm and also joke with pure insanity.

these events were rank 1st, 2nd and 3rd briefly in the memoirs of thailand.

starting with the 3rd. it was purely evil sarcasm. it was one of the days, normal working day. the 3 of us (dan, kt & i) were marching back to the lab from lunch at thammasat canteen. as we walked up and down the indoor bridge from one building to another, we looked through the windowpane. we saw a man, warming up for a jog. its was around 1pm, who in the hell would wanna jog with the sun right above your head?

but this man. the difference is that he's actually limbless as both his limbs were, i guess, amputated.

so, either dan or myself, made a remark: "sia lah, this guy surely very fit one!"

and as we walked down, koktong went : "eh don't play-play with him, later he punch you then you know!"

which, obviously, the word punch is not in that man's dictionary since he's limbless. both dan and i initially disagreed of him making fun of handicapped people, noting its cruel. but in singapore, looking back at it, makes us burst into laughter vetted it as the 3rd best event.

the 2nd event isn't as funny as it was. it was one of the "sequencing results" day. both dan & i had ugly results. so, we were kinda stressed up about it. then, later at night, there was this show, YETI, which really was a low budget movie.

when the 'yeti' shows up, dan and i were laughing for 15 mins straight. okay, this is actually really not funny for anyone else but us. so it doesn't matter.

the best event, 1st. we were having our normal daily lunch, again, after eating lunch, we decided to slack a little, given the fact that doctor yindee wasn't around that day. so, while slacking, we came about the topic of girls. typical boys talk.

kt had mentioned of his likings to a girl's features. he mentioned that he likes girls that are petite, small, cute. also he said that there isn't any of his type in Biotech, TP. while crazy thoughts raced in my head, i calmly interrupted-

"got! in our course got small-small, cute-cute, petite-petite type for you one"

both dan and kt subconsciously leaned forward a little bit to hear more of me with their question, "who?"

i then said- "ERVIN!"

all three of us burst into laughter, so loud that it silenced the whole canteen as the people shot their glaring stare at us. we couldn't care but to laugh our ass off.

for those who does not know who ervin is, ervin is a short boy in our course that is backstabbing in his nature. he is more or less a midget. cruel as it is, its true.

so that's no. 1 for you! and this pretty much summarise how great thailand was for us.

i'm writing this letter and wishing you well.

2009-05-12T19:26:00.000+07:00

work has been work. sitting under an air-con has snatch spells of migraines later in the day. migraines which have never been dealt well with. the accumulation of unnecessary stress is churning me into one hell of a crazy psychotic depressed person. i admit it that i'm psychologically unbalance these few days.

truthfully, i don't need to be a psychologist to say this - no matter who you are, if you ever want to voice someone's weakness, you DO NOT speak of anger nor tantrums and most importantly, BE justifiable. watch your tone.

you don't want me cleaning up my closet.

2009-04-22T22:04:00.003+07:00

i got a job that starts on monday. awesome as it is, am i missing out on something?

anyways, i was blog hoppin until i saw something interesting. very interesting indeed, that i wanna share with. i hope the blogger don't mind me grabbing excerpts of its content.

"
only if, i could play football with no guilt.
only if, i could watch football with no worries.
only if, i feel appreciated before telling i don't.
only if, lesser anger and tantrums were thrown at us.
only if, i have a reason to be proud.
only if, i was entitled to solitary walks.
only if, you'd understand the things i did for you.
only if, i didn't feel being constricted.
only if, you could care less about my hair cuts.
only if, i could be who i really am around you.
only if, i am allowed being the person i was that fell for you.

only if.

- 30 April 2008 "

its funny how this person deals with things. but his/her poem entitled "only if" was tad direct. and i was wondering whether the term "you" in the poem, refers to a monster that exists?

in a hell i'm burning.

2009-04-03T23:32:00.003+07:00

i've been youtube-ing for a bit lately. and i chance upon an interesting song from an interesting artist that i won't soon forget. she's lovely. and i'm sorta, in love with her. haha.

so here.. lykke li from sweden, reminds me of the swedish lady i met in thailand =)

hear the sound, the angels come screaming down.

2009-03-26T22:43:00.004+07:00

okay, im still pretty much not over thailand. perhaps all due to rotting 24/7 at home having no where else to channel my thoughts. i wanna do this though, re-captivate my SIP in thailand bits and pieces.

it was really difficult to get over such occurrences. especially 4 months on your own. from working our ass off, and laughing over the smallest of things in the lab together with daniaal and koktong. more laughing when koktong fell on his butt!

etc.etc.etc.. how nice it would be if i can share every little with everyone, selectively everyone.

so there was the cooking!

the awesome food!!!

the phad thai every tuesday! awh, it looks way delicious in real life. i remember how we used to get all pissed off and angsty when phad-thai was either sold-out or not selling. i'd be the first to get all furious after being strucked by the news. thats how much of an impact phad-thai made on us.

then there was the white water rafting trip at prachinburi(i guess).

and more of the rafting trip. which was AWESOME!

and there was MORE than this..

and someone searched my name "khairel" on google to get here! awesome!!! or "awesome" for someone unwelcome. haha!

i'm not okay.

2009-03-25T18:08:00.002+07:00

time has sped right past us. and self-realization has its way to extend an understanding to life. i was browsing through my older post, and damn i do miss thailand alot.

unlike the rest, i had two phases in thailand. the solitary phase and then the other phase.

what i went through was really delicate in terms of growing up. and i have learnt alot. like really alot. life has never been more meaningful since. an experience i won't soon forget.

i hope my thai friends are doing well. though i am losing the flair of thai language. haha.

ps. this post signifies that i am still alive.

mcr saved my life in bangkok.

2009-03-02T20:32:00.004+07:00

GREETINGS! from the superheroes of tioman island!

so the tioman trip was awesome. the exhilarating fun was limitless. from a simple heartattack game to a ground breaking bursts of laughters.

as we marched in to the woods, there lie a monitor lizard with a certain kind of mutation. a monitor lizard with a sardine canned head. awesome? no.

ronny freed the monster off of its own captivity.

and so, that very night, we chance upon another monster. well, its hard to tell what it is. here's a picture of it and a conversation amongst us.

japheth: eh, it looks like spider but its not.

joel(came to the scene): eh its not a spider lah, it got more than eight legs. its an OCTOPUS!

japheth: OCTOPUS ALSO GOT EIGHT LEGS WHAT!!!!

joel: =_='

the rest: YA LAH! LOL..

tioman was AWESOME!!!!

how did we get here, i think i know you so well.

2009-02-17T00:48:00.001+07:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Commitment Even though it may not always seem like it, deep down you are afraid of being committed to anything serious. You love the feeling of being carefree and not having anything tying you down. You're afraid that someone or something that may tie you down in life, will keep you from reaching other goals. You may also be afraid of getting hurt. You need to open yourself up more to possibilities and realize that sometimes it's good to be committed to something that you really care about. Just because you're an independent, free-spirited person doesn't mean that being committed to anything is going to change who you are.
Where Your life is Going
Disappointment
Looked down on
Losing Someone
Death
Being Alone
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

this is pretty lame, but it has got a point in it.

come one come all to this tragic affair.

2009-02-03T11:24:00.003+07:00

its been 11 days since i landed in singapore. though i feel no different, i'm still in the transition of settling down in singapore. probably in the 11 days i've been in singapore, all i did was to catch up with the reports and workbooks. yes, reports, 2 of em.

after yesterday, a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. although dan and i had the taste of life as a vampire. 26 hours without sleep and no food towards the end of it. such familiarity was only observed in thailand though.

everyday, i still wake up to my alarm switching to snooze will preparing in my head to go to the lab. everyday! when reality hits me, i became aimless. realising thailand was something huge to let go. 4 months of my life where i truly grew and influenced by the reminiscing thoughts of many. especially with the prescence of Dr. Yindee where there's a fine line between serious and joke.

apart from that, singapore is fine. although stepping out of home feels very awkward.

teenage angsts have paid off well. now i'm bored and old.

2009-01-22T09:06:00.003+07:00

okay this is getting scary. we're one day away to 'home-sweet-home'. and i haven't even pack a single bit. neither have daniaal. and we're not worried. thats worrying me.

we've been doing some last minute dash in terms of work, reports and clear-ups. intentions were made clear, behaviours were changing, uncertainty were certain, feet were eager to run home.

at the end of it all, i've seen so many perspective of life. from the first five struggling weeks, i've seen what it seems to be the darkest days yet which vividly reminds me of hope when you feel there is none left. the other 12 weeks was working hard and proving everyone wrong.

three partial gene, one full-length, one satisfied son.

where the angels undercover curse our names.

2009-01-20T17:21:00.007+07:00

random pictures from Pha Ngam Trip.

they say history will find us on the last train.

2009-01-19T20:50:00.003+07:00

we're five days away to home. and for the past week, dan and i have been exchanging greetings as such, "aku tak sabar nak balik bodo!"

which literally means "i can't wait to get home, stupid!"

obviously, we're trying our best to hush the urge to get home. our drives are channeling to the last work day.

we came back from the trip to prachinburi in the late afternoon. with 5 others from starch biosynthesis lab. since the trip was made mandatory, i have no complaints. slept alot throughout the trip, journey to and back, something i never get to do much here.

well, on the way back, in one of those stopovers, i saw one whole stack of rose-red water apples. i was tempted, and there, stated "5(something in thai) 100".

assuming 5 water apples for 100baht, i demanded for 5. to my surprise, the lady gleefully packed 2 big bags for me. in confusion, she showed me on the weighing scale, there you go, 5 KG. for 100 baht. a few cents short of 5 singapore dollars.

i was surprise, still am. i was very skeptical about it until i grabbed a bite. it was too sweet to be true. 5 kg for 100 baht. how am i gonna eat em all?

pictures later.

lets go back to the middle of day that starts it all.

2009-01-12T15:42:00.002+07:00

i was so high i chance upon the cutest baby in the universe.
you'll agree.

if only time flew by like doves.

2009-01-05T02:47:00.002+07:00

why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday? keeping it brief.

irregular sleeping cycle, piling amount of work, reports. the project is undergoing a transition to expression analysis, the last part of the project. apparently, the project we're doing here in thailand are master degree level. well, i can only say on behalves of daniaal and koktong for the rest seem to be more relaxed.

there's just too much hiccups throughout the whole journey of completing the project. gleefully, i already have one full-length sequence with my name written all over it. daniaal has a few too. thats the good part. praise to god.

the ugly side, we're both losing hair, sanity, brain cells, drive, motivation, faith, strength, will and on top of it all, sleep. the mad scientist image is slowly wrapping me up. there's unexplained angst, fear and grief in us.

there's literally little space to even be thinking of singapore, home. though i can't wait for this to end. i went through soooooooo much, so thick. from the dark alleys to mounting pressures. this is getting depressing but there's always hope. even the slightest of hopes, i can't let astray.

like a dark knight riding his horse to nowhere, where the air he breathes leads him. looking back, he has no regrets.

you can sleep in the coffin and the past ain't through with you.

2008-12-31T21:10:00.001+07:00

you're nothing more than a plague i first create.

2008-12-25T01:15:00.004+07:00

mentally unfit, physically drained, emotionally dormant. multiple feelings caught up within this crushed head. with pressure mounting, the RACE towards the finishing line. with the last bit of hope and the aid in a leap of faith.

been spending 20 hours a day giving our, including daniaal, best. 4 to put our heads to rest despite understanding its futility. to remain sharp for 20 long hours may seem impossible. when all there is in my head, was to get the damn full-length sequence. we're like literally cracking our heads choosing between whats best.

something's itching in my lungs, i've been coughing irregularly at night especially prior to sleeping, preventing me from settling into a deep sleep.

the peculiar life cycle we're leading is totally like crap, when we thought maximizing our working time will speed up the process. no one has proved me wrong since.

the sky seems to be darker lately. the air seems to be amiss. was it really you i'm looking for?

hows that for a logo?

i need myself like i never needed before. but i want a result badly i'd do anything wise to get it.

like a bullet through a flock of doves.

2008-12-20T22:56:00.005+07:00

as days fade, night grows and we go cold. a simple entity we went through as our projects are giving us a hard time sleeping. apparently, to dr. yindee, results are not everything (which i find very wise of him to think so). but results are what i am here for. a true understatement of my dedication to molecular work, especially this particular project.

we, dan, koktong and i, went through rough times to achieve an understanding of why we just don't seem to be able to get what we want. apparently, our curiousity just ends up hanging with such questions of why.

our ignorance are being made up by our immense span of attention at work. we're very very hopeful of what's coming next.

throughout a tough week, a godsend, a revelation, has kept me in touch with reality.

at our best.

like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons.

2008-12-10T15:25:00.003+07:00

picture of the season.

smile.

and cross the patron saint of switchblade fights.

2008-12-08T20:29:00.003+07:00

dinner for tonight.

and that was that.

ask no more, i did eat them.

if you're curious how my hair looks like after i dyed it red blonde, be my guest. although its not as bad as it SUPPOSE to be, but thats it. its much much much more horrible under the sun and without the hairdressing. yes, thats how i really look like.

retardation. bleah~

stand up fucking tall dont let them see your back and take my fucking hands and never be afraid again.

2008-12-07T15:52:00.004+07:00

before a new week starts, lets captivate events of this week and the previous. on wednesday last week, we had a small outing with the supervisors and the rest. we had lunch together as a form of punishment claimed Dr. Yindee.

only to find out it was p mon's birthday, her 24th. it is very odd as their birthdays are just weeks apart. we had p bee's and p yam's just weeks before.

one of the day, we had our own mini class of foot detoxification. a practice every lab should cultivate.

that is daniaal's enthusiam in getting his feet soaked with toxic from his own.

well, thats mine now. migraine, improper sleep, flatulence were the suggested diagnostic. should i care less?

over the weekend last week, we went to watch TWILIGHT. we chance upon this floor tile with "RUSSELL GROWE" on it. tell me anyone, who the hell is Russell Growe?

there were others, like nicole kidman, catherine zeta jones, and few other well-spelled hollywood artists. annoyingly, i still refuse to accept to existence of Russell Growe.

we had KFC prior to watching the movie last sunday together with weiqiang and p ton.

having understood how pleasing Thailand's KFC can be, daniaal, kok and i, went again last night, this time around, we indulge every layer of meat we could. 3 pieces of chicken each along with 2 drumsticks and pepsi for a good S$7.00 meal. do you now envy us?

dyed my hair red blonde. what was i thinking? i now blend in well with mats except there aren't any here in thailand.

okay, to wrap up the week, here's a beautiful photograph of a beautiful mentor of mine. i bet she wouldn't mine having here beautiful face here. she's the one and only p yam(eno).

you're not in this alone, let me yell this awkward silence.

2008-12-04T21:39:00.002+07:00

its 5 weeks since my new project started. and i am impress with the progress i have made, not. so tell me, is it me or is it really an intrusion of edinburgh?

realise this. a day before.

kt: you must understand that he got complications in his project.

he: no, he's got complications in his head.

a conversation about myself. it was all for the good of fun.

it didn't take long to push someone back to ground zero. truthfully, i never felt any stupid-er in my entire life before today. it was a mistake, worth chopping my fingers off. throughout the questioning, i myself was asking me questions why i chose to ignore the new sequence which is totally different from other sequences. i figured the EST sequence was the one distracting me away to consume the load.

he is right, this is the consequences of being too concentrated. perhaps i should dilute my juices more. i was too engrossed with the processes i learned.

some people rather stay in singapore and get paid for their SIP/MP. it didn't occur to me at all. i am here in thailand, despite the low blows, i am gonna stick through it like bear and his honey. which he will come back for more.

the hardest part is letting go of your drink.

2008-11-27T22:49:00.011+07:00

so here's my last weekend fairy tale. we went to prachinburi for white water rafting with the protein-ligand laboratory people. i cannot stress enough on how awesome it was. it was nice rafting with the protein-ligand people. p tui was extremely gentle and kind towards all.

so we traveled by van to prachinburi, more or less 4 hours. slept so many times on the way there.

we had lunch and a briefing in thai then off to the site. where we grabbed our helmets and life-vests.

we then hiked for about half an hour to the rafting site. once we loaded the raft with our butts, off we go. at least 45 minutes of adrenaline rush throughout.

the rest is history.

here are the few of hundreds of pictures from p tui's camera. i warn, there are no pictures of the 45 minutes of adrenaline.

the lunch and the briefing.

the wait.

the ride to the site.

the urban style.

the captive.

the glorious walk.

the marshalls.

the intrusion of mother nature.

the fortuna's spell.

the post-drama.

the journey south.

the entity.

the airstrip.

the sidewalk.

the mansion.
the soldiers of fortune.
the house of cards.
the water rock.

the envious dam.

the last march.

this weekend was just work in the lab besides the movie twilight, a movie that widen my horizon to life beyond the existence of others.

how wrong we were to think that immortality meant never dying.

2008-11-23T21:56:00.002+07:00

came back from the exhilarating white water rafting this afternoon, exhausted.

an envious adventure set our hearts on fire. in short, it was breathtaking, every moment of it. with pictures, it will be more exciting. until the pictures are uploaded, i'll fill your hungry thoughts with more.

like star-crossed lovers when we fight.

2008-11-21T23:47:00.002+07:00

sunset flares upon thy dark flight.

angels flew across the sea.

in search of a lonely light.

the blue dawn speaks for me.

unlike the demons that flee, peace has no room to breathe for survivors. six stood still, reaching their hands for sanity. in the menacing silence, he fights violence. a war sounded from a cage of sins they own. uncertainty blanket the fears he wears. sorrow seeks apart being alone. a fight they all share.

all we are, is bullets i mean this.

and if the sun comes up, will it tear the skin right of our bones?

2008-11-18T23:50:00.003+07:00

now realise that i haven't been posting lately. extremely busy with the project. my sequencing results came, and i'm glad that there are isoforms, as demanded. but designing a primer on those sequences is a chore.

okay nuff said about my project.

over the weekend, i spent most of the time in the LAB. yes, work. but its not as bad as it sounds like. i enjoy coming to the lab on weekends. no pressure, no restrictions, no supervisor. we can all just rock our ass off in the lab. on sunday, went shopping at Future Park with the rest except for weiqiang, who frequently lets his lazyness get the better of him.

daniaal bought dozens of tees only to find out its too small for his structure. he's trying his best to expand the fabric to fit him. i bought two pairs of 'vans' slip in shoes. each costs 10 singapore bucks. black and brown.

as usual, my weekly dosage of dairy queen.

after shopping, dan, kok and i went to the lab. finish off what we left off.

on monday!

thats pretty much how i go around in the lab half the time.

there was a bazaar near-by. organised by the Thammasat University students, i think. the lab people and i, including dan and kok, went to find food there. and guess what i found, fried mealworms, crickets and shit. not literally shit, but shit.

out of curiousity, i bought. costs 20 baht.

how digusting can it be? but i didn't hesitate to try. it tasted funny actually. pretty hard to describe it. the first taste was like prawn crackers. the after taste was like FUCK! and i was thinking, my father's arowana back at home eats the same mealworms as i did. don't you believe me i did try it?

no matter how bad it tasted, its weird that i ate at least 10 of those. haha. apart from the digustingly 'nice' food in thai, life is pretty good. the project is getting tougher by the day. sleep is unlike sugar in thailand. seriously, everything here is so damn sweet.

we hold in our hearts the sword and the faith.

2008-11-15T17:40:00.002+07:00

currently, i am in the lab. yes, working. and i will be in the lab tomorrow too. well, at the first sight, many might think that OSIP in bangkok is stressful. 12-16 hours spend every weekdays. even weekends are consumed. but actually, it's not as bad as it seems.

somehow, it is a responsibility. to come to finish up the work you left for the day. and knowing molecular work, it gets continuous and you can't afford to wait for the weekends to past. i absolutely have no problems with the working time. at least not now. maybe because i love what i do. honestly. with the people around, friends to joke, nothing to complain about despite the amount of work and stress.

for this is just me, myself, building pillars in my life. pillars to which that will hold the rest of me. ever thought how it would be for you to be away from your family? away from your comfort zone? away from anything you ever had?

this life i am living, is not just another chapter of one's life. deprive of many things i used to have, i am just moulding into shape. imagine having lost one of your loved ones. perspective changes. this is one of them, except that its not my love ones. its just, the decency of having not to compromise.

i have compromised alot in my life and most since in thailand. decisions made were no longer solely on desire. even then, some people cannot learn, cannot learn to make decisions. especially important ones. leaving home for 4 months means you have to move on and leave whats behind. and face whats ahead. no one should carry what they left behind and fight another day with the weight on their shoulders.

i am blessed with a family that understands. that this ordeal, is important for myself and whats ahead. no matter how tough the situation is, its never too late.

he will understand. if he doesn't, he is not god.

he who let this happen, have something in store for me. for that i am grateful, for a silver lining. my perspectives on many things have alter rapidly, and sometimes i am worried that i have to sit my life back at home in singapore adapting.

at the end of all this, i know i have benefited alot. at least the most i could. a few years down the road, i will look back with no regrets. for someone who's living a life far than perfect, i am very very grateful.

well i find it hard to stay, with the words you say.

2008-11-13T22:35:00.006+07:00

i haven't got time to blog much lately. have been coming home from work very late this week. dedication is the key i suppose. when you love doing it, you won't mind staying til 12midnight in the lab.

that's what i did.

on tuesday, ate the infamous phad thai for lunch. and worked my ass off. and cooked black pepper chicken fried rice for dinner. the best of many!

phad thai!

a day at work, with crazy people including myself.

yesterday, worked til late. there was some kinda festival where they pay respect to the goddess of the river, or sea, or whatever. so, it was like a lantern festival, except that they let the papermade lotus with candles and stuffs float. and there was lotsa stalls selling food open, and some fair. went to the fair with the lab people.

dinner together at interdorm.

and a post-hari raya celebration. right~

so we, the lab, had a cassava(tapioca) field trip today, thursday. we went to somewhere that is 1hr30mins away from thailand science park. slept throughout the journey there. and left some kinda impression to dr. yindee. haha.

we all expected a hot weather with the blazing sun shining up high burning our back. but it was much of a relieve as there was a strong cool breeze with the presence of the hot sun. he didn't perspire at all. it was as if we're in a 16 degrees C airconditioned room. awesome.

thats, dr. yindee.

thats, an idiot. with his supervisors in the background. dr. tharatorn and dr. oranuch.

thats dan and kok, with wind breezing through their heads.

cassava.

the amount of pills i'm taking.

2008-11-10T20:59:00.010+07:00

been very very very busy lately. some even thought i am dead. haha. i've been juggling sleep, work, project and proposal. sleep is always at the losing end. things are way different compared to the first 5 weeks here. there's plenty of wicked people in the lab, makes you wanna stay there forever, not.

my primers came on friday, started on RT-PCR. results ain't that good, so re-optimize. on saturday, we went to esplanade(yes there is one in bangkok too) to watch quantum of solace. a company gave away 8 tickets to our lab. so, most of our lab people went.

went to chatuchak park MRTA, subway.
waiting for p yam. (dan said, its rude to spell it as 'pee')
thats, p kau, p cocui, p bee and p ton, from the left.

over at the ticket counter.

the token used as tickets to travel.

down the elavator, kok tong with his steady-kok look.

not much diff from singapore's.

except for the cartoon character on the doors.

there we were, ESPLANADE.

the best mall i've been so far, in bangkok.

look why.

breakfast at 12pm, macdonalds. shrimp and fries.

the cozy macdonalds. the best part, NO MATS AND NO MINAHS.

pretty good for 100 baht meal.

the movie was okay, every single theatre was showing the movie, i suppose its some kind of a function. we walked around the mall after the movie, after which we went back to the dorm. our hungry stomachs lead us to interdorm, to have dinner. we took a 5baht pick-up as dan and i stood throughout the 5-10 minutes journey. it was the first, so i took a video. ignore the noise coming from my mouth. just enjoy.

i spent the whole of sunday in the lab, carrying out RT-PCR again, and RNA extraction. and finishing up my proposal. slept at 2am talking about stuffs with dan. stuffs like how we gonna miss thailand if we're back in singapore. stuffs about how our friend is surviving in perth. stuffs about what we have learn in life so far.

today, monday, woke up without any dread to go to work. continued with RT-PCR and colony PCR. after 10 hours in the lab, there was no results in my colony PCR. only to find out that i forgot to include the polymerase. this is the problem you have when you do things half-way, you forget this and forget that.

so i have to re-do the whole 40 tubes of colony PCR tomorrow.

surprisingly, today is p yam's birthday. i know, exactly last week was p bee's. conclusions were made that every monday, is a lab member's birthday. i wonder whose birthday is next monday.

the ice-cream cake.
the singing.
the blowing of candles.
the cutting.

these are moments to be treasured. its funny how when kok tong said, "pretty sia!" referring to the magazine and p yam actually replied, "thank you!" to him. haha, i included a video. so you guys can actually have a sneak preview of how our lives are in bangkok, in the lab to be precise. with the thais around.

noticed when p yam said to daniaal that he can't eat the cake, cause there's "oink oink." she's really2 funny as a person. pardon the poor quality of the video, only if someone can spare a better phone.

went home to cook for dinner, as planned. and the outcome, was brilliance. three heads, two cookers, one awesome dinner.

rice with chicken curry, omelette with sausages and crab soup with red snapper fish. awesome stuff. check out the video, again, pardon the quality.

the kinda dirty that the water never cleans off the clothes.

2008-11-06T20:13:00.005+07:00

i was brutally murdered by dr. yindee with his proficiency test. nothing else matters.

here are the pictures over the course of one week.

chicken rendang and eggs with rice for dinner on thurday, still at samsen apartment then.

raining cats and pigs.
taxi driver, mr. tom.

taxi driver went to refuel at the CNG pump station on the way to NSTDA dorm on friday.

the awesome chicken fried rice with tom yam at hayati restaurant.

the weekly dosage of dairy queen on sunday.

my first lunch on monday.

the birthday i mentioned, pee bee's.

super sweet coconut drink while waiting for phad thai.

hanna t reached perth yesterday, 3 more girls joined us in bangkok since yesterday too. i guess she's enjoying perth, while she can.

why don't you kill me in my sleep.

2008-11-05T22:31:00.003+07:00

too tired to blog.
too happy to bother.
too slow to talk.
too stress to smile.
too late to laugh.
too jovial to cry.
too high to sleep.

too far to fly.

but, too many to tell.

but, too sad to scream.
but, too much to spit.
but, too strange to jump.
but, never too late to dance.
but, never too enchanting to try.
but, never too high to creep.
but, never too far to shine.

if it looks like i'm laughing, i'm really just asking to leave.

2008-11-03T22:04:00.002+07:00

entirely new life. another period of adaptation to go through. the project has started. with 3 hours of sleep, i was summoned to create degenerative primers for SERK gene.

and so i did, til 2pm. with the help of pee yam. everyone seems nice, although i was a little intimidated by the supervisor, Dr. Yindee. following that, i had lunch bought by daniaal. something i have to get use to, the food! not bad at all actually.

RNA extraction from cassaca callus was next. til 7plus. we celebrated pee bee's birthday. it was short-noticed, but it's something that counts.

i was literally a FRESHY. there is just alot of things that i need to keep up with. the system is way way way different from yothee's. on top of that, i get to work with something much much cool-er. and literally cooler, like the use of liquid nitrogen. awesome stuff.

pics later.

i am feeling the pressure now, Dr. Yindee seems to be pushing me since i've got 11 weeks to complete the project which he thinks it is possible. new dorm, still without internet yet. still lingering with the rest.

this night, walk the dead.

2008-11-01T19:50:00.002+07:00

my soul is slowly accepting the fact that i have changed project. but my brain is channeling quickly to the project. i've already understood the nature of the project, as much as i can. thanks to daniaal.

slept at 4am in the morning, having travelled 1hr 30mins in the cab with a luggage and a back pack to come to NSTDA dorm.

woke up at 1.30pm and followed dan to the lab. read-up more about the proj. can't deny that my brain cells have depleted since i spent 5 weeks doing a no-brainer job. but i am more than excited to start this project.

"Cloning and characterization of the protein SERK involving in the somatic embryogenesis of Cassava"

another plant, WITHOUT any manual labour work. i realised, i didn't ever complain when i was told to skin oil palms. just my luck. this events that happened throughout the week were like as if, it was written. everything was in place and happens at the right time.

i have started searching for the protein sequence for SERK. and very very very very very motivated by the prospect of the project. with love.

so honey tell me who do you wanna be.

2008-10-31T17:58:00.003+07:00

okay, i think i'll have to explain myself. my project is about oil palm. what about it? i am suppose to check how efficient it transformed into a transgenic plant. meaning how well the oil palm accepts gene transfer. it was suppose to be a 16 weeks project. since the first day, i was doing manual labour of skinning the oil palm. hundreds and up to date, i did over 2000 oil palms. my fingers are becoming numb. only to find out early this week, that what ive been doing, was not a single bit in relation to my project. i almost throw-up upon hearing the news. and i was also told that what i was doing was actually helping someone growing his research material.

and oh, btw, the project is not and will not be approved by any organisation in the world if it's successful. meaning, its aimless and useless. because the world have a banned on GMO(Genetically-Modified-Organism). Transferring genes to oil palm will mean that its a GMO and its strictly illegal.

in another note, someone told me to take it as doing a favour for them. absolutely, there is no turning back. i accepted it as a favour as soon as i knew. not a problem with that. so, questions raised. what about my materials? what about my project?

5 weeks in, and i still have not touched anything on MY project, let alone gather research materials. i don't have a choice do i? but to wait patiently. but on thursday i was reaffirmed by my supervisor, that i will only be doing culturing for the rest of my stay, 12 weeks. meaning, i just still and skin the oil palm everyday until she say, 'okay, now you transform gene.'

by then, i'll tell her to transform my soul first cause its probably dying.

i was given the choice to change projects 2 weeks ago, but i insisted that i should stay. being the person i am, i empathise alot for others. i empathise the people i am going to trouble if i were to change project. if there is any project to change to!

with the driving force of Daniaal along with his advisor and his supervisors, they manage to pull the strings and took the empathy away from me. far far away. without me knowing, stories about me doing the same thing that bores me to death everyday went all the way to the staffs in Thailand Science Park. Daniaal did his all to convince me that this is my life and the choice is mine.

and for the first time in my entire life, i make a decision solely on what my heart desires most, WITH NO GUILT. which at the status quo, was justifiable.

I DECIDED TO CHANGE MY PROJECT.

which is ONLY possible because Dr.Yindee(Dan's supervisor) created a new project specifically for me, since i am into molecular work rather than culturing everyday. i am touched by the gesture. someone, 1 hour away from my lab, that actually knows what i should do. that is change projects.

5 weeks in and no sign of me doing anything related to my project.
5 weeks in and i've been doing the same thing over and over again.
5 weeks in and my supervisor didn't follow the time line SHE set for me.(which includes the start of the project since week 3)
12 weeks to go and i don't wanna do culturing and cutting everyday.
12 weeks to go and i don't wanna dread going to work knowing what to expect.
12 weeks to go and i don't wanna feel like a labourer doing something for everyone everday.
12 weeks to go and i don't wanna have to write a report solely based on culturing.
12 weeks to go and i don't wanna go home and regret my stay in bangkok.
12 weeks to go and i don't wanna go back to TP and be told that my project isn't valid.
12 weeks to go and i don't wanna look back and see myself as i was, with no difference.

and so the meeting took place, Dr. Tharatorn(Dan's supervisor too) helped me alot in the transfering process. i was suppose to wait til wednesday til i get a response from the admin team. but after just a few hours, it was confirmed, today, is my last day in Yothee Building. I am officially SUPERVISOR-LESS. before leaving, she threw harsh words that were suppose to make me feel guilty.

but lesson learnt, i will not. my mother once told me, "if you live not to trouble others, you shall live alone!(or in direct translation, don't live!)" which is true, if you wanna win, someone has to lose. if you don't want others to lose, then you lose, alot. after today, i learnt the biggest lesson in my life. lose some, win some. wait a minute, by that it actually means that i still empathise. whatever it is, i need to take care of myself in order to take care of others.

rumour has it that she treated every overseas student as such. labourer. and everyone knows it. everyone as in all the other PHD HOLDERS, except me. and after today, i am the first student that stands up to her and tell her that in her face.

everything should go well, i will be in NSTDA DORM with the rest and start working on the new project on monday.

after all this, thanks to daniaal and his crew for the dirty work they did for me behind the curtains. thanks to doctor yindee and doctor tharatorn for taking me in(and i have no idea how they knew that i was suffering). thanks to mahn(a colleague) that encourages me to change, cause he hates oil palm too but he's too scared to change. thanks to pee ying and wanravee for going through the trouble. thanks to her for the eye-opening opinions. thanks to me, for putting a great show in front of the supervisor who official hates me. and on top of it all, thank god! (alhamdulillah) for making this possible.

so when you think there isn't a choice, there is always a choice. whether you see it, or not.

in a middle of a gunfight.

2008-10-30T11:27:00.004+07:00

simply brilliant.

2008-10-29T21:00:00.002+07:00

so there you go, the first today. the first time i saw hell broke loose and my supervisor turned into a furious yelling monster. without a doubt, it was my fault. i forgot to include something important into the media that i've been using for a week. she kept insisting that "this is serious!". sometimes, i just couldn't be bothered with what she was trying to say.

she kept asking whether i put in the 2,4-D, a growth regulator. i said, i can't remember, cause i really can't. a week ago, i did so many media preparation and other shit.

Supervisor: did you put in the 2,4 - D?

Me: i can't remember.

Supervisor: how can you not remember? its only a week. i am older than you and you cannot remember things you did last week? how old are you?

Me: i'm nineteen, and human.

Supervisor: ..

if someone can brag about holding a PHD! i can brag about having balls. having balls to stand up and carry on doing what i'm doing.

so i had to redo everything, re-subculture everything using a new media. on top of that, i had to prepare 4L of MS(B5), 5L of Milieu 0.75- and subculture transformed plants.

so here i am, 9:11pm, in the lab. doing my research while waiting for the autoclave to be done. i am literally shivering on an empty stomach. well, not literally empty, there's chicken rice from lunch which i think, turned into something else by now.

a stain that never comes off the sheets.

2008-10-28T17:33:00.002+07:00

everything is getting harder everyday. processes getting complicated. work piling up, and i am doing as much as i can in a day.

subculture transformed tobacco plants to decontaminate
culture agrobacterium into LB broth
prepare hormones and antibiotics
subculture cell suspension
prepare materials to autoclave

among the things i did today. i am holding on as much as i can, with the Proposal coming up, due 10 November. slept at 12am and 7 hours later, i am still tired. while waiting for the UV light in the laminar flowhood to switch off, i slept for 20 minutes. i don't know what's eating up my energy. probably the food i eat.

since we're at food, the owner of the lan shop talked to me before i went off yesterday. he's from pakistan and invited me over to his place for a meal or two since he's muslim too. and also invited me to his brother's restaurant 20 minutes away from the dorm.

i wonder, why people are very nice here. probably because i am a foreigner? but sometimes, when people are too nice and warm towards yourself, you have doubts.

now i have doubts to whether i should wait for the most irritating person in my life, right now, to finish using the camera since i need it to take photos of the development. i am actually pretty excited at the prospects of the embryos growing. some of them turned green and i though to myself, "finally, life has a colour!"

but i don't wanna be weird, loving plants such as oil palm.

i heard you've been bleeding.

2008-10-27T21:19:00.002+07:00

this is so going to be a very very long post since i didn't post anything over the weekend, including friday that is. anyway, friday was a long frustating day. did transformation the whole day and the supervisor was pissing me off. too naggy for my ears. and the complicated protocol she developed, which was suppose to be super easy to understand, had me almost shouted at everything. but i tried my best to keep my cool.

i finished work at 5pm, waited for the two boys til 8pm only to know that daniaal just loaded his gel to run for 2 hours at least. having 200baht in my wallet, i've decided to wait for them somewhere else instead of going back to my dorm.

so i went dinner at soi petchaburi 7, a shop named ali selatan. had nasi pattaya.

everything costed me 100baht.

my jaws literally opened when the lady spoke to me in malay. all these while, i thought everyone in bangkok thinks i am a thai.

after which i walked to siam square, about 2km from the shop. but it was nothing to me. on the way there i found a guitar shop. everything in the shop looks very very very delicious.

and kept walking around siam square and MBK. at 10pm, they were still not done. so our plan of playing pool at nana was still in the air. i then decided to go to nana first at 10pm. took the BTS, talked to couple of americans. after almost 2 hours of wondering, they were still in the lab. that made 7 hours of waiting. and it was pouring heavily. so i decided to back out after too tired of waiting. and went back to the dorm, slept while watching the da vinci code through my lappy.

SATURDAY!

woke up at 1.30pm since i told daniaal to meet me at Ratchatewi BTS at 2pm, to meet up with MY PARENTS! apparently, they woke up at 1.50pm. so, i went first. my parents reached baiyoke sky at around 3pm. was elated when i saw them from through the tinted windows of their van.

we checked in,

and the first thing i did was to sertu with the soap my parents brought from singapore, thanks to her for knowledging me with the existence of this thing for not i could've done the old way.

and took a tuktuk to 'gems jewellery', the same one we went 3 years ago. and i shocked to find out that its just opposite the street of my apartment! spent almost 2 hours and 15,000 baht on thai silk and a ring, for my mother. it was 530pm then, decided to go to MBK instead of chatuchak since it's late for the weekend market. prior to that, we went dinner at MAK YAH restaurant, near soi petchaburi 7.

the two most important people in my life.and definitely not the last.

it was pouring heavily as we finished our meal. then we met up with daniaal and alden at MBK. after the walk we took a cab (all 6 in one cab) back to baiyoke sky. it was funny when the taxi driver talked to us about many of the littlest things. he asked my father whether all 4 (daniaal, alden, my bro and myself) of us are his children, and my father said yes. he immediately took my fathers arm and said, "you strong!".

=_=' (learned this from alden)

then we went up to the tallest building in bangkok. when to the revolving deck, but it wasn't revolving due to the rain. the wind there was awesome! like as if you are on a 120km/h motorbike. maybe lesser. but it was awesome, the wind, the spectacular view of bangkok, and everything else.

after which, we went to the room and divided some food 'stock', and proceed to our respective dorms. my parents, my brother and myself went to my dorm to keep the stuffs. too many to mention.

then we went to pratunam market, just in front of the hotel. slept at 3am, after the horrible disturbance of my brother snoring.

SUNDAY!

woke up, had a quick morning shower and went to breakfast at baiyoke sky's 83rd storey.

the weather was fine.5 minutes later, the weather was not. it was pouring like mad, again.

it didn't occur to me it would rain at 9 in the morning. and our plans to go to chatuchak stalled. so we ate slowly, in agony, as there wasn't many halal things. so the rain stopped at 10 plus and we had the long walk to the BTS station and to chatuchak. my mother spent alot of things, met with daniaal and alden there. alden was openly mocked by my father over alot of things. poor boy. after so many times mocked by me, now, my father. you look too vulnerable lah aldennn.

after so many hours, we went for lunch at HAYATI restaurant, was too hungry to even think of taking a picture. but it was the same restaurant we went 3 years ago. apparently, JUST OPPOSITE OF ALI SELATAN. the tom yum was super nice, despite its spicyness. the price is also way way way cheaper then MAK YAH's.

we then parted with daniaal and alden, proceed to the hotel, put our stuffs and continued shopping at pratunam and indra regent. had my second dosage of DAIRY QUEEN! of the week.

its becoming an alter addiction.

after that, we cleaned ourselves, rested a bit in the hotel and went down again! this time, for massage. it was awesome, it was like immediate recharged after an hour of thai massage. after that, they continued shopping again!

went back to the hotel, to do some work stuffs, while my mother and brother were still shopping. slept at 1am.

MONDAY!

didn't followed them for breakfast this time, was too tired and have to go to work after lunch. after they finished breakfast, i joined them, for another round of SHOPPING! shop shop shop and then we went back to the hotel and packed. showered and checked-out. as the van reached, we then parted as i took the cab to the dorm and unpacked. then off to work. nothing much today except for more stress. i have to do as much literature review for 2 weeks. i did subculturing and preparing of media. after that, went home quick, it was raining. had nasi goreng kampung with hotdogs and eggs.

this are the main things i bought over the weekend.

there's so much things that happened over the weekend including a ladyboy experience i had and the post is getting a little to long. so, ask me personally if you're interested to know eyy. chiao! too much british movies and english-speaking strangers.

and if your heart stops beating.

2008-10-23T15:40:00.004+07:00

it was hell of a night last night. another traumatic experience, but i am fine. ended work late yesterday, 8.30pm. did media preparation and subculture of the transformed tobacco plants. prepared the osmoticum plate and had to let it dry. 6 sets.

so i decided to eat at KFC, its halal, since neither alden nor dan sounded serious about anything, they were pushing me from one to another. so our plan of watching body of lies was screwed, since i ended late. i went to century mall, and decided to watch the movie 'city of ember'. though i was tempted to watch 'body of lies'.

the movie was suppose to start at 10.35pm. but it started at 11.30pm instead, something screwed up i guess. the movie was okay, it ended at 1am.

so i had to walk to the place where there's alot of tuktuk and motortaxi, instead of taking the cab. so i walked, 1am in the morning. it was real dark. i wasn't really afraid, or thinking about anything much, but to get home. to me, it was some kind of an experience to venture at night, alone, in bangkok.

as i walked, i chance upon a courtyard. it was dark. there are fences but no gates. instead of walking the longer route, i decided to take a short cut across the courtyard. but there were people around. so, i didn't expect anything to happen. there were dogs too. but i can only see one, right smack in the middle of the courtyard.

so i stepped into the courtyard and walked towards the exit right at the end. half way through, the dog raised from its resting position. and it was coming towards me. okay big deal, just a dog. in a split second i saw a few more dogs coming towards me from the dark, coming in all directions. i stalled, looked around, i counted 6 dogs. they were all growling and barking at me. there i was, surrounded by 6 growling, howling, barking dogs waiting to pounce on me. i suppose they're guard dogs.

in my head, i was thinking that if i were to move on forward, they might start attacking me. and if i were to make eye contact with them, they'd sense trouble and react. so, i took a few steps back, turned and walk away to the 'entrance'.

to my horror, all 6 dogs followed me, still growling and barking. i continued walking, but one of em tried to bite my pants, i could feel its teeth. but i walked too fast, not allowing its jaws to close. then another dog, tried to sniff my right hand as i walk. i could already feel its wetness and its breath. i tried to take my hand. away but the stupid dog licked across the whole side of the back of my palm before i could.

once i got out of the courtyard, all 6 dispersed. like as if they'd get shot if they cross the line. but some of em were still monitoring my movement, staring and barking at me. on the other side of the fence, i could only look at it, and brandished a middle finger.

i made my way out, and got home safely. my heart didn't slow down eversince. honestly. i was terrified to be attacked by those creatures, but i'm glad they didn't. i kept worrying how to 'sertu'(cleanse) the saliva away.

woke up at 12pm today. oh yarh, i forgot to mention that today is a public holiday in thailand. but i still have to come to the lab and finish up some stuff.

and so i did, after lunch, i came to work at 2pm, finished up subculturing the cell suspension and the agrobacterium. and i am still in the lab, alone~

no one is around, and i am using the free internet. and and and my parents are coming over on saturday.

i will avenge my ghost with every breath i take.

2008-10-21T20:35:00.003+07:00

came to work at 7am in the morning, just so that i wont end so late. did 200 seed sterilisation and prepare the subculture media for transformation. after which i had to culture the 5 strains/clones of agrobacterium tumafaciens into LB broth. apparently different strains require different set of antibiotics in the media. i have to calculate the M1V1=M2V2 and i did. but i was really really really disturbed by the fact that i prepared the same freaking media for all 5 sets. i was pissed at myself, after long hours in the laminar flow hood, but there was only one solution to the problem, prepare new sets.

went home at 6.20pm and bought some stuffs along the way to cook for dinner.

and so, as i've planned while culturing those animals(oil palm embryos actually not animals, but i am so sick of them), i had pan-fry salmon with wedges and egg. awesome! it was a chore preparing it, but its awesome stuff i tell you. although its simple. heh, things are less complicated here. unlike back in singapore.

without pepper and thai chilli sauce.

with pepper and thai chilli sauce.

awesome stuff, again!

so, here i am, in the lan shop. actually waiting for hanna tan to come online but she's no where to be found. i've been thinking about football for the past few days. i really really miss football. probably i wont be touching a football until 23rd January 2009. come to think about it, it's sad. but my parents are coming over this weekend. i don't know where to bring them but chatuchak and MBK. that's so pathetic. nevertheless, i'll surely crap out something good.

heard that the riots/protests are spreading real fast, like cancer, to shopping areas, from my father. but, i sense none. maybe soon, in the lab, i'll start one.

everyone in the lab are extremely crazy about plants. every single one of em love plants to death. in the morning, i saw one of em spraying distilled water to one of his plantlets, and was smiling and whispering to the drowning (haha) plantlet. and i was saying this in my head, "what the hell, another mr. kok? and i am stuck here for another 3 months with these plant lovers?"

honestly, i have ZERO interest in plants, let alone OIL PALM! i even tried to be, but i wasn't near to even liking it. the last time i was truly interested in plants when i was 6-7, as i grew a few green beans in a used yakult bottle with wet tissues in it to see the green beans grow, and it bored me to death afterwards. apart from that, ZERO interest. how i wish my project is about football, or guitars for that matter.

they shot me full of ephedrine.

2008-10-20T17:43:00.006+07:00

it was cooking night on sunday. after i have decided to stay at NSTDA dorm with the two and go to work from there, we bought stuffs to cook from TOPS MARKET, Future Park.

prior to that, we had our lunch at tops 'cashless' foodcourt. a very nice one. apparently, all foodcourts we've been are cashless. either coupons or cashcard.

thats seafood fried rice and oysters omellete. 50 and 55baht respectively.

29baht caramel moolatte! another dose of dairy queen, will last me for the week.

reached back at the dorm, and all we did was write and write and write, our MPs stuffs. until about 9pm then we started to cook. alden came up with the menu. and we all chipped in some ideas. and so it was, what-thing-toh's red snapper fish soup with rice. the taste was alright if you weren't expecting much. but it was one hell of a healthy meal.

after two late nights, i managed to sleep at 2am knowing that i have to wake up at 5.45am in the morning. which i did. walked towards the van alone, a little creepy cause there's no one at all. slept throughout the journey and reached work at 7.40am.

was reallyreallyreally tired, after taking photos, while cutting the fruit, i went to the toilet to sleep for 20 minutes. couldn't take it anymore. my eyes were literally shutting down and my hands were doing the work.

after lunch, (chicken rice again), was better. i don't feel THAT sleepy.

after finished cutting, found out that i don't have enough media, so i have to make another 4L of MS(B5). and now i am just waiting for the autoclave to end.

i'll probably walk home, just to wear myself down further. reach home and shower and have a quick dinner. and sleep! (probably on HOUSE season 4)

we are young and we don't care.

2008-10-19T13:27:00.006+07:00

here's a wrap up of what happened throughout the weekend. on friday, i woke up to a bleeding nose. not serious though, but its a symptom of increasing body temperature. and probably the quick change of temperature as i woke up.

had an orientation of transformation procedures. i mean, the transformation of agrobacterium into the Tobacco Plants. in a few weeks time, after several subculture, if transgene is present, the plant will turn red. continued seed sterilization again! i've got 300 seeds left.

then went back to the dorm, took a shower then meet the rest, dan and alden, at the BTS station nearest to my dorm. we then headed to soi petchaburi 7 for dinner. its a small muslim living community street.

alden was so hungry by then, it was about 9pm, and all he did was anxiously starring and waiting for his seafood fried rice.

i had the same thing as alden.

then headed to a night market. bought a 250baht sling carrier leather bag. went to thailand science park with them and slept at 2am doing nothing.

12hours later, SATURDAY!

we woke up with empty stomachs. planned to eat at chatuchak, but the weather failed us. so we went to victory monument and head to MBK for lunch. on the way there, in the BTS (skytrain actually), we saw a perfect example of a lost soul, whatever that means actually.

suddenly i had this wicked idea of taking hir(his/her) picture via my phone by acting as if i'm using it. so, you decide. shehe (she/he) looks very emo in this picture. but seriously, shehe was smiling all the while. so, you decide.

we ate at MBK.

was too hungry to think of taking a picture before eating. so yarh. better than nothing. i ate chicken steak with rice actually for 85baht.

then i was desperately looking out DAIRY QUEEN! seriously, i am becoming a junkie, to dairy queen's product. and we actually found it. this time i ate the green tea ice cream, with almonds. one take home pint for 59baht. worth it or what?

look at how big and satisfying it was.

headed to Ratchatewi BTS station and walk all over the town. and ended up in Pratunam Market. lots of things here, but of all things, we're looking for Crickets.

but found none.

my life and everything else is a blur.

thats how i actually look like in real life.

and had A&Ws for dinner. i have been waiting for this actually for my entire stay in bangkok. it was okay.

then went back to victory monument, to century mall to get groceries. but upon entering, we saw the screen showing the movies. we looked at each other, with the 'lets-watch-max-payne-tonight look'.

so we did, with the glorious long walk to theatre 8. the show was AWE-some. everything was in place. then we went home, as i watched football through kok's lappy. Manutd 4-0 WBA. thrilling scoreline. slept at 4am, and woke up to blog this. going for lunch soon, after showering, unlike 'some' people, who has no reason to be showering, he claimed.

from gutter institution, can you breathe for me.

2008-10-16T16:58:00.003+07:00

i am still in the lab though, and will be ending work very late perhaps. 8 or 9pm. until i finish cutting the ass out of those palms. seriously, i am getting sick doing this kinda job. its a no-brainer shit. all i did til 5pm was seed sterilisation. 200 of em. and got plenty to go.

very very frustrated with this concept of 'work'.

probably, i have to come back to work over the weekends and screw up other plans. this is bullshitting in my pants seriously. and my phone, has no network coverage eversince i stepped into this building. the funny thing is that it is still unavailable when i stepped out of this building for lunch. probably its terminated! as well, just like my ATM card.

if you looked in the mirror and don't like what you see.

2008-10-15T21:11:00.002+07:00

i was just waiting for this "perfect" moment. the moment my internet card value finishes. and yes, it's valueless. i am now in a lan shop apparently owned by an indian who doesn't speak thai. 20baht per hour, so i am only using for an hour.

did media preparation and photo-taking and cutting the whole day today. okay, this part is actually for me to look back on so i can record it accordingly.

half-way through, i tried to sign in to TP webmail as i am waiting for a very very very very very important email, and all it did was showed me the number of new mails inbox. but the mails wont show. and i knew the emails ive been waiting for was already there. i tried to get people to sign in for me, but no one was available. so, my decision has to be pushed til tomorrow.

while i was cutting 200 oil palms, my head was replaying what daniaal imitated. yes, if anything you people should know about him, he is a great imitator of how people speak. and believe me there are plenty of different people. and i mean DIFFERENT.

what was replaying in my head was how he imitate this friend of ours. from vietnam. very funny indeed. it kept me bursting into small laughters throughout. funny shit.

apart from that, i realise that there's quite a number of you reading this blog of mine. and i appreciate this gesture very much. some of you here came to this blog by chance, so welcome to my life, somehow. well, most of you here, by now, have been here since the first week this blog started and are very much invited. so, i just wanna warn you guys reading here to quench your thirst of excitement and drama, it is gonna get boring by the day. it is gonna get REALLY REALLY mundane over here. 'happening' things usually are the weekends at most. so just, be warned.

been watching lots of HOUSE and movies. thanks to daniaal now i am addicted to the egoistic-sarcastic-emo-sonofabitch-alwaysright-andtogoodtobetrue doctor HOUSE. whatever that keeps me going. i'll update more about the "DECISION" i have to make tomorrow. by then, it will be decided.

can you hear me cry out to you.

2008-10-14T21:16:00.004+07:00

ahh, another long day today. ended work at 7pm and i've decided to walk home. sometimes these solitary walks are indeed pleasurable. the clouds were really pitch-black by then.

another boring session, had to knock the oil palm open and sterilised them. it took me the whole damn day to complete 200 seeds while pee glau did 300 in half a day. thats, with years of experience which i have only one week.

finally, i've decided to cook for dinner, although its late. but, i didn't hesitate. wait, that rhymes. haha, had the rice cooked. and believe it or not, i cooked WAY TOO MUCH. i somehow miss gauged the amount and it turned out to be able to serve 5 meals. anyway, i didn't know what to do with the extra cooked-rice, i kept it in the fridge(for don't know how long). and so i had fried belacan rice with prawns, eggs and Roasted chicken BBQ with honey. it didn't take long for me to be filled. at last, something satisfying, on my own.

how about that for dinner, ey?

can't wait for my family to come over and for this agony to clean up. until then, i shall keep praying for the best.

when this kicks in, get above the floor.

2008-10-13T21:10:00.002+07:00

i think i am gonna get a fever in a day or two. throughout the day, i was literally talking to the oil palm. harvested one hell of a bunch with 1000 fruits. and cut 200 fruits. took me 11 hours to complete these task.

while cutting, every 15 minutes i felt like throwing up. probably to constant repetitive work i am doing and the smell of the oil palm. getting sick of it.

getting my ATM card terminated in the process wasn't any better for me. getting really really sick of things. very very very very depressing.

but every night, i dream of things. different variety of dreams. last night, i dreamt of my secondary school friend Hanna J. she was in bangkok and we met up. it felt so real until she suddenly became someone else, another secondary school friend, Fidyana G. apparently in the dream, she's living in thailand and i happen to drop-by her place to see her mother. weird stuffs, but it kept me smiling when i wake up every morning.

send your roses when they think you need a smile.

2008-10-12T22:12:00.001+07:00

back at my dorm from thailand science park. man, time really sped past real quick when we needed it most. weekends are like, over.

woke up at 12pm. quickly made our "english breakfast". but look at the time, 12pm. we had scramble eggs, karage chicken and steamed hotdogs. it was super filling.

from then, until 3pm, all we did was our write-ups. be it MP workbook or SIP logbook. pretty shitty. weekends are practically half of friday and a saturday. well, not for alden this weekend, he was with his family that came over since thursday.

talked to hanna tan feat her mother(haha) through skype. and she's preparing things she can before leaving for Perth. all the best. as much as i sincerely hope that perth is how you'd think its suppose to be, but seriously dont be too overshadowed by what you think. just like how i thought of BANGKOK.

i took the van to victory monument at 8pm. and took the motorcycle taxi home. life is not as easy here in bangkok. but it is something i have to go through. probably watching house soon and work starts tomorrow. ain't SIP life a pretty pile of crap in bangkok? i don't think so.

hear the sound the angels come screaming down.

2008-10-12T00:07:00.003+07:00

all i did on friday at work was sterilization and culture of 200 oil palm seeds. i came close to crying in frustration peeling and knocking open the seed.

went straight to thailand science park. dropped by at tops market to buy some stuffs. bought some ready-to-cook prawns and meat. reached and cooked fried rice with eggs and meat and prawns. awesome stuff i tell you. had the rice cooked by daniaal first before i came.

slacked our way to sleep. watching some gory documentary before switching to HOUSE. and slept half way through. sleep-talking as usual.

woke up 12 hours later, 2pm.

SATURDAY!

our plans having an english-breakfast went into the recycle bin. went to FUTURE PARK for lunch. in search of a guitar shop. found 2, but things are pretty much the same as of in singapore. the prices.

lunch at FUTURE PARK

from DAIRY QUEEN

the two of us then went to SIAM SQUARE via BTS(sky train). nothing much there. so, we walked around the streets across the malls. heard some live music performance, so we followed our ears and ended up at some band-performing competition. all performers were in school uniform and very young. so we concluded its some kind of a school band competition.

they were actually VERY VERY good. stage performance and music wise. at their age, i am very impress actually.

went to victory monument, did 'groceries shopping' at century mall. spent 931baht for ALOT of things. only to find out that i can't withdraw any money from the ATM. the machine kept prompting TRANSACTION CANCELLED, PLEASE CONTACT YOUR BANK.

dropped-by my place via tuktuk. crazy rider! we were thrown back and forth. daniaal took a video clip of the ride which i'd probably post here later. or when i figure out how to post it here.

then off to take the van at victory monument. reached back at thailand science park. and the first thing we did was to cook fried rice again! in the midst of watching football through koktong's lappy.

another knife in my hands.

2008-10-09T19:34:00.002+07:00

i watched prison break season 4 episode 4 and the bank job last night. both shows are incredibly awesome. planning to watch the street kings later. all thanks to daniaal for his source of movies and shows.

came to work as usual only to be told to harvest more oil palm fruit from the newly collected bunch. i was like "bitch! not again." i wasn't complaining though. i was told to harvest the WHOLE BIG ASS oil palm bunch. but i stopped at 315 fruits cause they were just too damn hard to rip. tried everything to rip them off. i technically stabbed it using a screwdriver as if i was murdering some ass. but nothing really works.

then i had to cut the oily layer off. 200 of em'. cutting oil palm was literally killing my OWN PALM!

had an awesome lunch (actually had the same lunch again, chicken rice). Hanna Tan told me to cook, but i told her everytime i am home, i am probably tired or lazy. and she's got a point when she told me to cook in the morning instead. perhaps, one day.

had hotdogs with bread for dinner(although it sounds like something for breakfast). it was filling actually.

MP title and sypnosis done and reviewed by Dr. Kanokwan. will be travelling to Thailand Science Park tomorrow after. so, i'll be backpacking(sorta) tomorrow.

life is but a dream for the dead.

2008-10-08T20:13:00.002+07:00

after a long day yesterday, i thought today would be a little lighter. but i was wrong. here, a list of what i did the whole day today.

1/2 MS media preparation, 3L.
10 sets of dH20 for seed sterilization
LB media preparation, 2L
subculturing of cell suspension of oil palm, clone 221.
subculturing of agrobacterium clones pMAT21G, pEXM120G, A61, A63 and PAP1 by streak plating

ended work at 5.30pm. had chicken rice for lunch. reached home at do all the write-ups. MP project title and sypnosis due on friday. so, i quickly had that done earlier. if tomorrow work ends early, i'm gonna cook fried rice for dinner.

the world is hypocrite, but god has his plans.

we're damned afterall, through fortune and flame we fall.

2008-10-07T21:20:00.005+07:00

some kinda hectic day today.

came early to work and headed off to Chonburi Oil Palm Plantation at around 8.45am with pee rainee and pee glau. an hour trip to the east of thailand. it was friggin' hot and humid there. in search of 20 inflourescence of oil palm. walked about a total of 5km only to find 16 inflourescence. most of em' turned into a bunch. the owner said that we're 2 months late.

the environment there reminds me of myself when i was a kid. my grandmother often brought me to my uncle's coconut plantation site if we're in melaka to help out in maintaining the area. the smell, the view, the heat, the humid.
then off to the bunch collecting site. there were millions of bunch from all over thailand collected in one area, chonburi plantation. carried over 12 bunches into the pick-up. then off we go for lunch.

i'm trying to skip all the skimpy little details cause i am just too exhausted.

had vegetarian food for lunch. reached back at yothee building around 3.30pm. slept on the way to chonburi and back. carried on the work of harvesting the bud of the inflourescence. then sterilising em'.

using a chemical, calcium hypochlorite. that gives out a corrosive chlorine odour, that makes you sick. made me really sick. ended work at 8.15pm. OT, meaningless OT. reached back at the dorm around 8.30pm. showered, ate, prayed and the stomach's still a bitch.

fatigue is accumulating in my skeletal muscles. i need to rest badly. pictures to enjoy.

pee glau, anxiously waiting for the next inflourescence to be chopped down.

someone save me.

2008-10-06T19:42:00.005+07:00

the weekend was different.

on saturday, dan and i met up with his family. had dinner with Rehman (his cousin) and future wife's family. it was bloody awkward, but everything was fine. except for my stomach which was terrible! it felt like there was a gust of wind preventing entry of food. but i forced them in. the food.

went to watch football at night, at a kedai "bar" kopi. along arab street of thailand. apparently, there was no selling of alcoholic drink for the rest of the week due to the election of governer of bangkok. so, no problems.

met a swedish lady in the bar, alile(her name sounds like that, though i doubt it's spelled like that). she speaks perfect english (at least i think so). it isn't hard to start a conversation with a stranger when you are isolated in a foreign country. she was alone in thailand, apparently on holidays (a long one).

she was very friendly and very open and very warm and funny. as expected of these europeans. we chatted about almost everything and anything for an hour i think. it was concluded that, i don't know ALOT about the world going on in other continents. daniaal was there too.

on sunday we went to Rehman future wife's house, a new modern contemporaray concept house she bought for 4.4 million baht. which is VERY CHEAP! for a 3 level house. i kinda fell in love with the idea and concept of that house. went to chatuchak weekend market following which with daniaal's family and Rehman. went back to the hotel, then off to MBK (motherly big k(c)omplex). but there was no sign of a single guitar shop, pathetic. but lunch at MBK was awesome, sorry no pictures. but it was egyptian cuisine for lunch.

then off to nana, pakistani area in bangkok, for dinner. awesome dinner, although my stomach ain't getting any better.

thanks to daniaal's mom for the stock of food she brought from singapore and the treats. very much appreciated.

work was fine today. did another batch of seed sterilisation and culture. ended work at 5.30pm. a relief for a very lethargic day at work. probably my stomach. had chicken rice for lunch. pee nawan served me again. didn't get to talk to her much, she was very very very busy. but she seemed happy to see me. haha ;)

went home, and was very very surprised to learn that i have to pay for the phone bill that i've been using for the slow ass internet. it's a dial-up. a total of 295baht for the week.

the bloody long record of usage that costs 295baht. great! another responsibility to shoulder. had prata for dinner, with sugar and condensed milk, from the push-cart downstairs. fyi, the whole stretch of road by my dorm has 'pasar malam' selling food everynight. but most of em' are selling babi. so what's the point.

running out of things to say. practically, i am stress but coping with life in thailand. i miss home and i miss praying in the mosque.

if life ain't just a joke, then why are we laughing?

2008-10-04T13:12:00.004+07:00

on friday, i went to work without the supervisor in. sterilised and cultured the remaining seed. at 4pm, headed to century mall, which is about 30 minutes walk from yothee building.

on the way there, i swear to god i saw someone familiar. i saw zulaiha(a former school-mate). but then again, it could've just been some thai look-alike of her. but i recognise her bag. it looks very "singapore-ish". couldn't be bothered, i took the van to Thammasat University. 30baht.

met the rest with the initial plan of watching eagle eye. but the losers backed out. so its me, dan and alden. went to FUTURE PARK, thailand version of VIVO CITY by van. exposing our skin to the mosquitoes living in the van. apart from that, we were excited.

straight to EGV, the cineplex, bought 3 tickets and then we had our dinner and window-shopped.

had chicken rice from a muslim stall. it was nice, but again. cashless. this time, they make the use of coupons.the FUTURE "vivo city" PARK. but the shops close at 9pm.

140baht per ticket, and lovely mixed popcorn. just perfect. there was cheese, salty and sweet popcorn in the mix. CHEESE! yes cheese. it was eye-popping when dan and i had our first taste of the cheese popcorn we never knew existed.

entered the cinema at 8.15pm instead of 8.10pm(the supposed time) after alden got held by the security for bringing his camera. piracy issues.

we bought the VIP seats only to find out what Dr. Jason Chang were talking about. but the seats were only super comfortable. after nearly 30 minutes of commercials and trailers. i was stunned when the rest of the viewers stood up after they showed something. i seriously thought that they were leaving, but instead they stood up to pay respect to their king after a 5 minutes video on him.

EAGLE EYE was awesome! best movie i watched in thailand. which is the only movie. haha. going to meet dan's family since they arrived at 12.15pm. staying over with them for a night.

so long not goodnight.

2008-10-02T19:20:00.008+07:00

came to work at 8.01am (from the clock at the card-reader as i entered) and was utterly confused when my supervisor said that she wants me to come on time. i was given a warning, which i felt was harsh, for being late. it was all due to the stupid traffic system employed in thailand. literally stupid. in a four-way junction, the traffic light turns green one junction at a time. i was stuck there for nearly 15 minutes.

and the massive numerical dominance of cars made it even worst. perhaps, the new PM can win the hearts of local thai who takes public transport everyday by employing a 5000 baht (S$200) ERP across the roads. well, it's just a suggestion though.

unlike in singapore, the ministers always take a preventive measure rather than a punitive measure. which can be overrated at times. a good example would be National Service. the people in my lab were surprised by the need of 2 years of national service. yet again, preventive measures. maybe they are playing too safe.

dealt with media preparation and seed cutting again! while waiting for the autoclave. ran 3 rounds of sterilisation. prepared 180 8oz bottles.

went lunch with my colleagues, they are nice people who try to make me feel at home. initially i turned down their offer but decided to go on cause i find it rather rude.

yep thats my lunch. the same chicken rice i had yesterday. and that green gravy thingy, was the super sweet and spicy sauce that i love. the sister who served me, intentionally gave me more rice, i don't know why, but i am grateful. service with a smile.

even kim(a 22 year-old thai in my lab who speaks english pretty well) asked me how much it costs. i told him 30 baht as per normal. and he said it looks more than normal.

the five of us then headed to thai leather fair. held nearby, like a so-called fair in singapore expo.

they sell pretty nice stuffs. notice the green leather bag? extreme left of the top rack. its BEAU-tiful. but its 3500baht. too expensive for my liking. leather made from cows.

went back to the dorm at around 530pm. walked home. 30 minutes walk through the carbon monoxide infested street.

didn't know what to do with the remaining bread. i made french toast, and have em with mixed berry spread. its sweet and simple.

we're watching EAGLE EYE tomorrow! well if there is anyone who wanna talk to me through the phone, please do call me at +0879968963. it doesn't cost much actually.

so long not goodnight.

2008-10-01T16:51:00.003+07:00

a rather boring day. still in the lab though. did housekeeping and seed sterilisation of nearly 100 oil palm seeds. adding on to the excruciating pain on my back. was working really hard, receiving several praises from the supervisor along the way.

had a wonderful lunch. chicken rice with an extremely sweet and spicy sauce (love it!), served by an english-speaking muslim, and she's 26 years old when i asked. but i swear to god she looks younger than me.

and today is the first day of Hari Raya Aidilfitri. however, not a single bit of such atmosphere in bangkok. even the muslims didn't take a holiday, the people at the food stall. maybe they didn't know its existence.

waiting for pictures from my family and hanna tan. or anyone else wanna tease me with their hari raya photos?

in the meantime, my 6233 or my camera & mp3, only last 2 hours after a full charging. perhaps the battery life is depleting fast. so i can't take picture that often, until i find a replacement.

awfully sad for missing hari raya. i wonder what they're doing now. probably they're already at my grandmother's place.

we hold in our heart the sword and the faith

swell up from the rain, clouds move like a wraith

well after all, we'll lie another day

and through it all, we'll find some other way

to carry on through cartilage and fluid

and did you come to stare or wash away the blood

well tonight, will it ever come

spend the rest of your day rocking out

just for the dead.

so long not goodnight.

2008-09-30T20:38:00.005+07:00

since the arrival of the multi-purpose cooker, life is like a love song. slow, steady and deep. one piece lesser to complete the missing pieces of the jigsaw puzzle. my friends have been saying that, once the puzzle is completed, 4 months stay is over. i'd say, anything as long as i can survive.

so i had fried eggs and chicken from 7-eleven for dinner yesterday.

notice the HALAL sign?

had maggie a few hours after, for sahur, which tasted HORRIBLE!. watched the movie munich half-way through my lappy and i can't seem to get it out of my head. some awesome shit that was. and i only found out that the movie was based on true events in 1972 makes it even harder to slip off of my head.

waking up for work was a dread. i hope that doesn't continue for 4 months. haha.

the rooster gets very annoying at times in the morning, but they reminded me of my kampung in melaka. how lovely. yeah, there are roosters along the road. haha, perhaps they are better known as stray rooster or ayam tepi jalan in malay. there are plenty of dogs here as well. most of them look like they have HIV or STDs or something like that. they look terrible i tell you. but they don't bite. well, maybe those dogs in the shops will if you were caught shop-lifting. maybe! i dont know. should try that one day. haha.

over in the lab, had to learn how to subculture cell suspension of oil palm which is actually quite difficult to master. followed by subculturing of tobacco plants, 25 of em'. then, chrysanthemum plant, another 25 of em'. ended work at 4plus. went home to my bloody bed. was so tired. prior to that, i had a very nice afternoon shower, and slept til 645pm. and yes, i missed buka at 6.08pm. prayed and cooked tuna with fried eggs and chicken again. ate em' with bread.

enjoyed the night view from my balcony as i'm losing grip of my eyesight. maybe they're a lil too tired.

pretty dark actually. oh well, so here i am. gonna finish up watching munich. probably the thing that has been keeping me sane nowadays.

and i realised, tomorrow is hari raya. and yes, i am gonna be working in the lab. probably knocking the seeds open.

i'd like to extend my hari raya wishes to my family, relatives, cousins and friends. Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

and to daniaal, the only muslim i know that exist in bangkok. selamat hari raya.

and to hanna tan, LUCKY YOU! but thanks for understanding and missing our presence. selamat hari raya.

so long not goodnight.

2008-09-29T15:02:00.003+07:00

nothing much today really.

except for the fact that i was charged 350baht for the taxi fare from thailand science park back to my dorm yesterday evening. its funny how the taxi driver asked me for money when we reached the toll. came across two tolls, 35baht and 55baht respectively.

had cereal for sahur. at about 1030pm. yes. 1030pm while watching p.s i love you from my lappy.

its 4pm, and im in the lab. came to work at 730am and had to continue skinning the oil palm. then pee glau assisted me in the medium preparation. pretty dreading, but at least i've got my own desk, locker and music!

the weather in bangkok is getting a lil moody. and i've got no umbrella! at all. nevermind that.

i am having ulcers around my upper lips. probably the aircon. i've already planned what i'm gonna have for buka later. i'm gonna have fried eggs and bread and probably tuna. since i already got that cooker.

my chemical romance is my lifeline in bangkok.

so long not goodnight.

2008-09-28T13:19:00.006+07:00

even though a week ago, i wanted to be here(bangkok) so bad. i wont deny that i am already starting to miss what i had in TP for the first 2 weeks of SIP/MP.

the slackings. the shoutings. the crappings. the talkings. and the luxury of having to be able to break fast at home or geylang. and the frequent meeting ups with hanna were the spice of life.

the school that i miss. my sunday just started actually, but since yesterday my head has been echo-ing what Hanna Tan said or asked us.

but yes, see how happy we were slacking at 'cable'.us, enjoying our slacking time in the library.

and it was the words of this lovely lady that's been haunting me;

"aren't you guys sad that you won't be able to celebrate hari raya with your family?"

all that was in my mind when she asked us that was bangkok. how badly we wanted it. only now, the question has really settled in. yes, i am gonna be sad during hari raya. while you guys back at home will be celebrating hari raya or a public holiday for non-muslim friends, i will be working in the lab probably sterilising oil palm.

and hanna, treasure all the time you gonna be spending in singapore, at least you can spend hari raya with your family and friends. i miss the times we had, that 2 weeks, despite the ups and downs you went through, or maybe just the downs. i bet dan does too.

had fried egg and tuna with bread for dinner last night, using our NEW COOKER! awesome stuffs. i will be back at my lonesome dorm later tonight, prolly after dinner.

so long not goodnight.

2008-09-27T23:07:00.009+07:00

just whither away.

happy moments like the start to this dreadful weekend have to be treasured. i think, every weekend i am gonna sleep over with the rest.

had cereal for sahur and woke up at 11am. after alden rolled down the bed, waking both me and dan alive. only to laugh in our small hearts as our initial reaction.

went to chatuchak weekend market via van, 30baht per head, at around 2pm. we dropped at mochit station and walk our way through. it was damn hot, spent 2-3hours there, walking. ended up buying one My Chemical Romance shirt. i was drooling over it. literally. haha.

160 baht after bargain. its still too early for shopping i guess.

we then headed to JJ mall, just opposite chatuchak market. in search of a rice cooker. my legs were almost giving up. we walked and walked and walked, but found nothing. so we took a cab to victory monument. was so pissed by the fact that the taxi drivers we unable to understand us.

so we went to center one plaza to find the rice cooker and neccesities. to no avail. we moved on to century mall (i wonder why these names are in english and people there don't understand english) and found nothing too but a map book. we had our dinner there, at the food court. ate some seafood pattaya mee. again, i was agitated by the fact that they were using cash cards in the food court. so much for trying to be "cashless" in bangkok.

after which we flagged about 5 cabs in hopes that one of them understand our next destination; carrefour at rangsit. about 45 mins from century mall.

we were so eager to get around and found the cooker we were looking for. shopped and shopped. i spent 1234.50 baht. sweet digits. close to 52 singapore dollars.

then took the cab back to thailand science park. lovely. we were so contented with what we've got. or maybe me.

aight, here's the pictures. in chronological order.

in the van, otw to chatuchak.

the rice cooker we found at JJ mall. but it was too large.yep, the victory monumentmy dinner!the stupid use of refundable cashcard.otw to carrefour.cooker!big fat durian.kick ass toilet.

so long not goodnight.

2008-09-26T20:32:00.004+07:00

as much as i'm looking forward to the end of the week, the work in lab is some kind of a labour work. went to work via motorcycle taxi. was frustrated by this language barrier shit. how i wish they all speak english here, at least basic english. but not many can.

reached the lab at 7.45am. dr kanokwan immediately gave me something to do. she told tham (some laos trainee in the lab) to teach me how to harvest the fucking oil palm. i thought it was some easy work. but it took me 5 dreading hours to harvest 3 of the 7 bunches of oil palm. imagine having to piece out every fruit of oil palm (those in acceptable conditions) from one bunch. there are approximately 400-500 fruits in a bunch. and you have to count every single seed.

yes, that's how bad it is for the first day of work. and i don't consider this shit to be some kind of 'lab work'. after which i skinned 100 fruits. swell my damn right hand. imagine skinning a coconut. oil palm is a super small version of a coconut.

so much for introducing my project to you guys. okay, here's what i have to do, my project title:

Efficient transformation of cell suspension in oil palm: a tool for rapid functional analysis of transgenes in oil palm.

i will elaborate on it some other day. but i can't disclose much shit here.

so on monday i will be sterilising the fruits i skinned.

after work, i went back to the dorm, showered, prayed and left. i became a tourist from singapore for the first time in the week. walked for 1 hour sightseeing (breathing carbon monoxide most of the time) until i found the van that travels to Thammasat University (to meet my buddies!) for 30baht.

while waiting for the van, i took a picture of a busy bangkok area. it is somewhere in around the Victory Monument, the orchard of bangkok. (orchard is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy organise though). the van came at 6.00pm.

it's so difficult to get there, all i have is a note in thai that says (i want to go Thammasat University, please show me the way), credits to my supervisor. and on the way to the van that took me 1 hour to find i met Norchit (some thai guy who speaks a lil english that helped me through).

seriously, when you're in need of help, you have to put your guards down and ego aside. esp in bangkok and you know nuts about their language.

slept my way through to Thammasat University.

reached, i waited for daniaal and alden so we can go dinner together. while waiting i took this gloomy picture from the bus stop.

FINALLY, some proper meal from Sulaiman's Stall which i had on the second day. (refer to my second post).

its been YEARS! i seriously felt like its been years since i ate a proper meal.

and yes, the outcome of a hungry person. praise to the god.

ultimately, i am here with my friends now. something to be happy about, someone to talk crap with. share my misery with. will be sleeping over throughout the weekend.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

will be shopping tomorrow. but first, a decent warm shower (which i can't ever get from my dorm). second, SLEEP LIKE PIG!

won 't be able to spend hari raya proper.

so long not goodnight.

2008-09-25T19:15:00.004+07:00

and so i travelled and will be travelling by bus to work at yothee building everyday. it's near actually, but i couldn't be bothered to walk all the way there. the ride is very slow due to massive traffic jam and you will have to stand cause the bus would be so packed. every ride to yothee will cost 13baht.

oh well, the reason i am isolated apart from my friends is that the project i am working on requires specific equipment that is only available in the pioneer building of BIOTEC, at yothee building.

pee ying took me around since we came early. praise to the god, i found out that there is a muslim stall at the canteen.

at 9am, she brought me over to Dr. Kanokwan. she's very nice and speaks excellent english. what could you expect, she graduated from a university in Australia. she showed me around and at around 1030am, she gave me some materials to read and discuss about it tomorrow. she gave me a whole thick book about Agrobacterium Tumafaciens. sad to say she reminded me that the project will NOT involve any molecular science, if there is, it will be sent to a specialist. so, okay, whatever. i am already in Thailand. i'll do whatever shit i am suppose to do and do it well.

she let me off at around 2pm, since she have got nothing for me to do until tomorrow. so i wandered around. bought a dozen of cherry apples. went back to the dorm by a motorcycle taxi that costed me 40 baht. at least i know how to say where i wanna go in thai.

to the dorm: soi sat sa na sarm.

i am staying at soi satsana 3(sarm), samsen nai, phaya thai, bangkok, thailand.

i think i am settling quick. don't you people worry about me back at home, i am fine and will be fine.

and so i had bread and canned tuna(again!) that i bought in the 7-eleven near yothee for buka plus the apples, since i found out that it wasn't a rice-cooker as what i initially thought. i bought some cereal and snacks to munch on later tonight.

what's great is that Dr. Kanokwan begged! me to bring my laptop to work since the computer at work is always in use. so i'll be spending long hours at work and do some reading back in the dorm. and i am thankful that she understands about muslim and fasting month. however, they wont be any holiday for Hari Raya Puasa.

everything is settling in place and i was disenchanted from life.

weekend is near, probably i'll go get a rice cooker. i need one badly now.

yes, NSTDA at Yothee.

cherry-apples, 100baht.

so long not goodnight.

2008-09-24T20:19:00.008+07:00

its a death wish.

everything was okay in the morning, had cereal with milk and oreo dunk with the remaining milk. oh don't worry, the milk are thai-based, not china. and there's a halal sign on the pack.

and so we had our orientation of BIOTEC this morning. from 8.30am to 2.30pm. which i found it useless for me as i am gonna be working in Yothee Building instead.

okay, my brain cells are depleting by the minute. i'm actually too tired to blog. but i find this important.

at 3.30pm, i met up with pee ying with my luggage at the NSTDA Dormitory. yes, i am finally leaving to downtown. the journey took exactly 1 hour. i was disillusioned by the fact that there was no muslim food around. but the living condition is okay, NSTDA Dormitory is way better though. the new 'old dormitory' is situated at Samsean, Soi Satsana Sarm. followed pee ying to Victory Monument via bus that costed 13 baht.

then she went for dinner at around 5.45pm, at that time i still couldn't eat just yet. so i wondered around. looking for halal food, apparently there aren't any.

then headed back to the dorm via a 20baht motocycle taxi. and the owner and i have a lil chat. and i found out that there is no internet connection unless i buy an 'internet card'. i dont know what shit she was refering to. and told me it can be bought at the NEAREST 7-eleven, 1km from the dorm. it was 6.05pm, time for buka, so i break fast with a chewing gum.

the misery was only beginning.

then i walked 1 km to the nearest 7-eleven. bought an 'internet card' worth 199 baht for 20 hours usage. some expensive shit in my opinion. 8 singapore dollars for 20 hours of internet. bought some bread and milk(thai-based) and canned tuna for buka. couldn't be bothered to speak thai this time. walked back through the dark alley with dogs barking mad at a fresh blood from singapore. reached at the dorm around 7plus pm (bangkok time) by 6 plus, the environment gets very dark.

i then settled the internet shit (dial-up 44kBPS!), showered, prayed and EAT! not very happy nor satisfied today, but i'm not complaining. on the way back, i saw a rice cooker. i am gonna get that tomorrow.

and i am so tired, i'll let the pictures do the talking. showing how miserable my life is becoming.

one more thing, i'd like to thank both my parents for their blessings, pee ying for settling my lodging, myres! (daniaal and alden and kok and weiqiang) for the peaceful 2-days stay with them and to Hanna Tan for the moral support or whatever shit that was which i appreciate it.

Korp Kun Kalp PEOPLE!

the alley to 7-eleven.

the new samsean dormitory.

yep thats my buka and probably my sahur.

so long not goodnight.

2008-09-23T21:52:00.009+07:00

SATISFIED! is the word of the day today.

i am beginning to adapt well in bangkok. although the start of the day today was shaky for both dan and myself. we overselpt and woke up at 4.55am. confused and dismayed to learn that the imsak time was probably over, we went on(tawakal) to consume our sahur for the day. i had cereal, koko crunch, with what was first known as 'strawberry flavoured milk' by me. but it turned out to be some strawberry YOUGURT DRINK!

had my 'strawberry milk' changed with dan's plain UHT milk. had bread as well after which.

we cleared our doubts of the prayer time in pathumthani, and performed our fajr prayers.

i woke up at 8.20am and headed to work after a sweet morning shower. attended the forum/seminar from 9am to 11.30am. ahhh, it was dreading. to be real honest, i only payed careful attention when the presenter were presenting on oil palm, cause that's directly related to my project. but it hasn't start yet. chatted with a vietnamese, cambodian and a phillipino. their english are a lil bit tough to understand, but they're all fine.

from 11.30 to 1pm, i slacked in the staff room and surf the net, lonesome. since everyone went out for lunch and i am fasting.

then at 1pm, pee rainee finally called me into the lab for some practical actions. yes, i have been begging for one. but all we did was subculturing of oil palm plantlets til almost 4.30pm. thats bloody long for a session of subculturing. and she was shocked that i knew almost everything on subculturing. (cheeky smile).

went back to the dorm and perform my prayers while waiting for the rest. then had mineral drink for buka again along with some chocolate orange sticks. after our prayers, Pee Tom (some thai friend), brought us to some place for dinner.

we walked out of the Thailand Science Park and took a free-tram. haha, we were excited.

yep, we are pretty much back in the 80's (like as if i lived a life in the 80's before).

as we entered the makan place, dan sigh a relief as he saw a muslim stall. we rushed(again!) to the stall, have a lil look at the meal. by then our appetite was fuming mad by the look of the pictures on the menu. we had a lil chat with the owner while he prepared chicken rice for us including Alden. spoke abit of arab to him and he understood and told us his name, Sulaiman. and we did exchange names after which. he then offered us a few dates along with the chicken rice which costed 35 baht.

while waiting for the rest, i got my first mosquito bite of many since landing. was agitated, and saw the egg in the showcase. so i went up, this is what i said.

me: kor nheung kai (i'd like an egg)
sulaiman: (i have no idea what he said then)

me: kap kun krap, tow rai? (thank you, how much?)
sulaiman: har baht (5 baht) (along with the hand sign)

YEAY! one decent conversation in thai achieved! then we took a picture with Pee Sulaiman.

this time around, i looked appealing. and it tasted super nice and decent, for a 40 baht meal.

kap kun karp pee sulaiman. SATISFIED!

a 20 baht drink for 6 people. 80 singapore cents, imagine people, imagine!

we then proceed back to the dorm, on the way, we dropped by 7-eleven. i bought a 29 baht oreo and 300(sarm roy) baht prepaid top-up.

and we reached 'home' SATISFIED!

so long not goodnight.

2008-09-22T20:43:00.002+07:00

on the 22nd sept 2008, i made history by stepping out of my comfort zone into something unexpecting. a whole new life, new place, new journey ahead of me, in Bangkok, for 4 damn months.

this, 'back door coffin', will be a familiar hangout for me to rant out my thoughts daily, if possible.

and so we (4 others) touched-down at around 11.33am bangkok time. things we're a lil messy but we got it all in place. it was a delight to be told that my isolation only starts on wednesday, meaning i have 2 godforsaken days with them in NSTDA DORMITORY, northern bangkok.

but what disappoints me the most was when pee ying told me that i look like a thai. not a surprise but coming from a thai, it became a talk of the day.

we soon headed to Thammasat University canteen for lunch, which technically means, staring at my buddies eating. then off to our dorms.

then a brief orientation around Thailand Science Park after we settled some paperwork.

following which, we were handed over to our respective supervisors, but temporary supervisors for me and daniaal due to various reasons.

i was introduced to pee (elder sis) rainee, she showed me around and we chatted for a bit. they(thais) are pretty nice and shy people actually. never fail to put a smile in their faces. then i have to observe her as she was trying to classify a meristematic tissue of oil palm so that she can propagate it. but the irony is that, she somehow told me, there is no meristematic tissue in the sample she collected. she only did that for results sake.

at 5pm, she told me to rest at my dorm. i took a long walk back to the dorm with a pair of tired legs.

at 6.05pm, daniaal and i had mineral drink for buka. then we kinda shop for necessities. its funny how we pull through despite the language barrier. ahhh. i spent 249 baht for snacks.

then all five of us head for dinner, at Thammasat University canteen. at least 20 mins walk from the dorm.

i rushed to the only muslim stall. seriously, the food didn't look appealing at all. plus they are all cold. but we had no other options. i had rice and a few things. the 'only thing' i recognised was the egg. it all costed me 28 baht. and 5 baht for a bottle of ice tea.

we then dropped by the 7 eleven after the first meal in thailand. apparently the language barrier get the better of us. i bought a chewing gum that costed 10 baht. okay, everythings fine. i paid for it and she spoke some thai to me and i knodded. and yes, apparently i do look like a thai afterall, can't blame her. then i walked off with my buddies. as soon as i step out of the door, she called us back (in thai). she was showing me her index finger and speaking some thai which i know shit about. i thought i didn't pay enough, or one of us stole something. we tried to walk away, but she chased us. pointing to some box near the exit. Alden took the liberty to really look at it and saw 1-for-1 and some thai shit. and he took it and said "oh! buy one get one free lar! i thought she scold or what sia!" and she smiled. we said thank you and laughed.

went back, had some long sweet shower. prayed and here i am. waking up at 4am bangkok time for sahur tomorrow morning and work starts at 9am. have to attend some forum in thai. and then do some subculturing in the afternoon.

oh yar, there's alot of stray dogs here barking. i feel like a bangla longing for home.

so long not goodnight.