you're nothing more than a plague i first create.

mentally unfit, physically drained, emotionally dormant. multiple feelings caught up within this crushed head. with pressure mounting, the RACE towards the finishing line. with the last bit of hope and the aid in a leap of faith.

been spending 20 hours a day giving our, including daniaal, best. 4 to put our heads to rest despite understanding its futility. to remain sharp for 20 long hours may seem impossible. when all there is in my head, was to get the damn full-length sequence. we're like literally cracking our heads choosing between whats best.

something's itching in my lungs, i've been coughing irregularly at night especially prior to sleeping, preventing me from settling into a deep sleep.

the peculiar life cycle we're leading is totally like crap, when we thought maximizing our working time will speed up the process. no one has proved me wrong since.

the sky seems to be darker lately. the air seems to be amiss. was it really you i'm looking for?

hows that for a logo?

i need myself like i never needed before. but i want a result badly i'd do anything wise to get it.

like a bullet through a flock of doves.

as days fade, night grows and we go cold. a simple entity we went through as our projects are giving us a hard time sleeping. apparently, to dr. yindee, results are not everything (which i find very wise of him to think so). but results are what i am here for. a true understatement of my dedication to molecular work, especially this particular project.

we, dan, koktong and i, went through rough times to achieve an understanding of why we just don't seem to be able to get what we want. apparently, our curiousity just ends up hanging with such questions of why.

our ignorance are being made up by our immense span of attention at work. we're very very hopeful of what's coming next.

throughout a tough week, a godsend, a revelation, has kept me in touch with reality.

at our best.

like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons.

picture of the season.

smile.

and cross the patron saint of switchblade fights.

dinner for tonight.

and that was that.

ask no more, i did eat them.

if you're curious how my hair looks like after i dyed it red blonde, be my guest. although its not as bad as it SUPPOSE to be, but thats it. its much much much more horrible under the sun and without the hairdressing. yes, thats how i really look like.

retardation. bleah~

stand up fucking tall dont let them see your back and take my fucking hands and never be afraid again.

before a new week starts, lets captivate events of this week and the previous. on wednesday last week, we had a small outing with the supervisors and the rest. we had lunch together as a form of punishment claimed Dr. Yindee.

only to find out it was p mon's birthday, her 24th. it is very odd as their birthdays are just weeks apart. we had p bee's and p yam's just weeks before.

one of the day, we had our own mini class of foot detoxification. a practice every lab should cultivate.

that is daniaal's enthusiam in getting his feet soaked with toxic from his own.

well, thats mine now. migraine, improper sleep, flatulence were the suggested diagnostic. should i care less?

over the weekend last week, we went to watch TWILIGHT. we chance upon this floor tile with "RUSSELL GROWE" on it. tell me anyone, who the hell is Russell Growe?

there were others, like nicole kidman, catherine zeta jones, and few other well-spelled hollywood artists. annoyingly, i still refuse to accept to existence of Russell Growe.

we had KFC prior to watching the movie last sunday together with weiqiang and p ton.

having understood how pleasing Thailand's KFC can be, daniaal, kok and i, went again last night, this time around, we indulge every layer of meat we could. 3 pieces of chicken each along with 2 drumsticks and pepsi for a good S$7.00 meal. do you now envy us?

dyed my hair red blonde. what was i thinking? i now blend in well with mats except there aren't any here in thailand.

okay, to wrap up the week, here's a beautiful photograph of a beautiful mentor of mine. i bet she wouldn't mine having here beautiful face here. she's the one and only p yam(eno).

you're not in this alone, let me yell this awkward silence.

its 5 weeks since my new project started. and i am impress with the progress i have made, not. so tell me, is it me or is it really an intrusion of edinburgh?

realise this. a day before.

kt: you must understand that he got complications in his project.

he: no, he's got complications in his head.

a conversation about myself. it was all for the good of fun.

it didn't take long to push someone back to ground zero. truthfully, i never felt any stupid-er in my entire life before today. it was a mistake, worth chopping my fingers off. throughout the questioning, i myself was asking me questions why i chose to ignore the new sequence which is totally different from other sequences. i figured the EST sequence was the one distracting me away to consume the load.

he is right, this is the consequences of being too concentrated. perhaps i should dilute my juices more. i was too engrossed with the processes i learned.

some people rather stay in singapore and get paid for their SIP/MP. it didn't occur to me at all. i am here in thailand, despite the low blows, i am gonna stick through it like bear and his honey. which he will come back for more.

the hardest part is letting go of your drink.