currently, i am in the lab. yes, working. and i will be in the lab tomorrow too. well, at the first sight, many might think that OSIP in bangkok is stressful. 12-16 hours spend every weekdays. even weekends are consumed. but actually, it's not as bad as it seems.

somehow, it is a responsibility. to come to finish up the work you left for the day. and knowing molecular work, it gets continuous and you can't afford to wait for the weekends to past. i absolutely have no problems with the working time. at least not now. maybe because i love what i do. honestly. with the people around, friends to joke, nothing to complain about despite the amount of work and stress.

for this is just me, myself, building pillars in my life. pillars to which that will hold the rest of me. ever thought how it would be for you to be away from your family? away from your comfort zone? away from anything you ever had?

this life i am living, is not just another chapter of one's life. deprive of many things i used to have, i am just moulding into shape. imagine having lost one of your loved ones. perspective changes. this is one of them, except that its not my love ones. its just, the decency of having not to compromise.

i have compromised alot in my life and most since in thailand. decisions made were no longer solely on desire. even then, some people cannot learn, cannot learn to make decisions. especially important ones. leaving home for 4 months means you have to move on and leave whats behind. and face whats ahead. no one should carry what they left behind and fight another day with the weight on their shoulders.

i am blessed with a family that understands. that this ordeal, is important for myself and whats ahead. no matter how tough the situation is, its never too late.

he will understand. if he doesn't, he is not god.

he who let this happen, have something in store for me. for that i am grateful, for a silver lining. my perspectives on many things have alter rapidly, and sometimes i am worried that i have to sit my life back at home in singapore adapting.

at the end of all this, i know i have benefited alot. at least the most i could. a few years down the road, i will look back with no regrets. for someone who's living a life far than perfect, i am very very grateful.

well i find it hard to stay, with the words you say.